absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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