You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
