also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
