My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
