She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize