So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize