I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dignity is for republicans.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize