This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
