Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
