my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
