I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
