I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
