plz talk dirty to me
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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