There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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