My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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