Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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