Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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