Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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