I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
