Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
