You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
