I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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