I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
