so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
