wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
