so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
