Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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