Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
