is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
even my farts smell like vagina
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
