If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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