We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize