I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
