So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize