I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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