apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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