Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
how does that bad decision feel?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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