My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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