I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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