Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize