Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
