Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
