he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
splinters make it hard to masturbate
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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