I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
