We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
