the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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