forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
