Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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