so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
