You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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