Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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