You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
