Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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