the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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