Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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