whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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