it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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