Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
