I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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