cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
