i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize