Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
