I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So many bounce houses so little time
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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